Posts Tagged: humor

Day Something of Being Inside with a Walk

Tues. 03.24.20 – As the Corona Turns…

✓ Staying Inside
✓ Am used to this really as I have worked from home since Sept. 2000
✓ Only going out for a Walk with Social Distancing and some replenishing at the market
✓ Doing my best to get 10,000 steps in that One Walk with Social Distancing
✓ Staying 6 ft / 2 m from everyone while waiting in line at market
✓ Washing hands with Dr. Bonner’s rose castile liquid soap, as it is less chapping.
✓ Dancing while singing while washing hands. Helps with steps. The song has mostly been the Hamster Dance. Be v. afraid. Be glad you are not near me.
✓ The background processes of my brain are stressed and giving me weird stress dreams.
✓ Insomnia from 2am – 6am is now officially back after a few years of remission.
✓ Was mad at neighbor for holding an all night drum circle session, then realized on night #3 it was my fridge.
✓ Instead of adding focus, any caffeine is now scattering my brain to the wind.
✓ Am lucky if I get 3 good productive hours out of the day in terms of computer / tech / development / writing work.
✓ Doing my best to only check the news & Twitter once a day, preferably in the morning.
✓ Have closed all windows and turned on allergy air purifier as local trees are having a lot of sex. Pollen from said tree sex is making me sneeze and cough. This then leads to a brain spiral.
✓ Making strange bean soups with odds and ends from the fridge
✓ Follow bean soups with fruit. Because somewhere back in the distant 1970s California macrobiotic craze I was told as a child not to mix beans and fruit.
✓ So bored am almost excited to see what the beans and fruit will do in my already challenged digestive system.

How are you doing?

Sunday Tidbits for Your Reading Pleasure…

Single petaled rose with large stames casting shadows

Above photo of a rose taken by Ms. Jen on May 26, 2018 at Castle Howard, Yorkshire, with a Nikon D850 and a Nikon 50mm f/1.4G lens.

The Pivot:

“Something huge is happening in the UK right now, and I wonder where it’s going. […]

Brexit was a classic example of a collusion conspiracy. Many of the named politicians and businessmen above stand to gain millions of pounds from a hard Brexit that causes the British stock market to fall. Others stand to make millions from juicy investment opportunities they were offered in Russia. We cannot know for certain what the quid pro quo for those investment deals were at this time, but I strongly suspect that support for Brexit (and more general socially-authoritarian right-wing policies) was part of it.

And now we’re seeing a rival collusion conspiracy surface. Not all billionaires stand to profit from seeing the remains of British industry sink beneath the waves, and not all of them are in the pocket of the Kremlin’s financial backers. There are a bunch of very rich, rather reclusive men (and a handful of women) who probably thought, “well, let’s sit back and see where this thing leads, for now” about 18 months ago. And now they can see it leading right over a cliff, and they are unhappy, and they have made their displeasure known on the golf course and in the smoke-filled rooms, and the quiet whispering campaign has finally turned heads at the top of the media empires.

If I’m right, then over the next four to eight weeks the wrath of the British press is going to fall on the heads of the Brexit lobby with a force and a fury we haven’t seen in a generation. There may be arrests and criminal prosecutions before this sorry tale is done: I’d be unsurprised to see money-laundering investigations, and possibly prosecutions under the Bribery Act (2010), launched within this time frame that will rumble on for years to come.” – Charlie Stross, The Pivot

Juno Solves 39-Year Old Mystery of Jupiter Lightning

Oldest bubonic plague genome decoded

Facebook confirms that it tracks how you move mouse on the computer screen

Demise of the Nation State

Clever Street Artist Transforms Ordinary Public Places Into Funny Installations

Umberto Eco’s 1999 article on ‘Ur Fascism

Here’s to Unsuicide: An Interview with Richard Powers

Ha!

Wed. 25 April, 2018.

When I was a young teen, I attended several sleep-overs where late at night some of the girls played the ‘parlour game’ Ouija.

Not me, as I was tucked into my sleeping bag trying to go to sleep. When they would encourage me to get up and join them, I would decline. One time I watched the first ten minutes of the proceedings but was considered a joykiller as I kept asking if it wasn’t their hands moving the game piece to get the answer they wanted.

I was sent back to my sleeping bag.

The second time this happened, I was in the state of nearly asleep when my friend Tiffany screamed, “Jenifer!! The Ouija board says you are going to die in your forties!”

“That’s nice, I am going to sleep.”

Fast forward to yesterday. My fiftieth birthday. As of today, I am officially completely out of my forties and am not going back.

Take that, Tiffany’s Ouija board!

******

p.s. Happy 15th Birthday to this Blog Today!

p.p.s. This post was originally posted as an Early Access post at my Patreon.

The Borg Has A Tree, I

The Borg has a Tree, I

A london plane tree to be exact…

Today, Saturday, March 31, 2018, I was exploring the back by-ways that would allow me to arrive at my favorite gluten-free bakery in London all the while avoiding the mess of Oxford Street when I found this new post-modern contemporary contemporary building in Fitzrovia with a poor, pre-leafed out London plane tree standing bravely in the rain defending the neighborhood from the Borg.

Good job, Plane Tree. I still have my own mind and life.

Photo taken by Ms. Jen with her camera phone type object.

* Photo and text originally posted as a Early Access post at my Patreon.

It has been a Rough Morning here at Camp Hanen

Ms. Belle has had a rough morning...

Tues. 03.06.18 – The fabulous Ms. Belle has had a rough and tiring morning here at Camp Hanen!

She woke me up at 6:00am to go out to use the doggy potty, it was cold and windy while she minded her chores. From 6:30am to 8:00am, she carried on a heavy kiss bombardment and foot stepping/stamping campaign to get me to feed her breakfast before 8am.

After her hard won breakfast, she got up on the bed and promptly went back to sleep.

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert Skewer the Recent Spate of Executive Orders

“The president sets men’s fashions and at the inauguration he wore an extra long tie and a dead animal on his head, thus…” and Jon Stewart waves at his own dead animal and extra long tie.

Best quote: “It has been 11 days, Stephen. Eleven *BLANK* Days! The presidency is supposed to age the President, not the public.”

Isn’t it rather ridiculous how the Republicans were all up in arms about Obama’s executive orders and wanted to limit the ability for future presidents to make said orders, but now that their own guy is ordering away it is silence from the formerly opposed? Funny that.

I would bet everything that I have that if Hilary were now president, the Congressional and Senate Republicans would have already passed through both chambers a law the limiting of executive orders by now.

The Power of a Few Well Placed Words to…

Truly it is amazing to see how the power of a few well placed words can completely transform a mundane sentence or tweet. In this case the words in question are in a tweet from Mr. N. Gaiman:

a dodgy Welsh henge salesman

from the following tweet:

I can just imagine a late neolithic slighty greasy dude in a tunic, torc, and wool cloak selling the nice folks of the future Wiltshire on this Great Henge, gently used, currently installed in Wales, that really will improve your Sex Life, your Crops, and Your Marriage. I swear on both of my bullocks before Lugh Silverhand and the Morrigan…

And a competing gem is from the Guardian article on Stonehenge that Mr. Gaiman is linking to, wherein the author likens Stonehenge unto Ikea:

“It’s the Ikea of Neolithic monument building. The nice thing about these particular outcrops is that the rock has formed 480 million years ago as pillars. So prehistoric people don’t have to go in there and bash away … All they have to do is get wedges into the cracks. You wet the wedge, it swells and the stone pops off the rock.”