Humans! You Need To Breed For Capitalism!!!

This week a number of the major media outlets are WHINING that you, yes you, have not bred enough new humans for Capitalism.

Why are you slacking off? Capitalism needs you to provide new consumers for the beast. At the very least, governments need more young humans to work for cheap to support the old humans that didn’t die in the last year. Darned old humans with good immune systems.

At best the media is schizophrenic about birthrates, demographics, Climate Change, Extinction, and CATASTROPHE!!!!

ZOMG … Extinction! Climate Change! Too Many People! Water Shortages! Food Shortages! No Housing! No Resources….


Don’t stop breeding for Capitalism. Cause the Billionaires need you and all your 11 children to work at slave wages so they can continue to multiply their billions.

It is extraordinary to me that ______ [insert name of media property] can have one headline about how bad the world is because of Too Many Humans and then the next fear*shock*horror headline is about Humans Not Breeding Enough.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter to them if there are 6 or 10 billion humans by 2050, what matters is that we are all clicking on their advertisements – otherwise what is it all for?