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Aporkalypse Now!

If you are the sort of human who likes to have a really good panic every now and then and / or enjoys conspiracy theories, I would like to give you a good humorous cross section on the Aporkalypse to help trot you out of too much routing around in the slops of the swine flu hysteria [1]:
Apokalypse 2007 – A Flickr Photoset that involves a piglet and a BBQ spit. It does not end well… for the piglet.
Making Light commenter, albatross, makes reference to the Four Hogs of the Aporkalypse.
How to survive the Aporkalypse by Aaron at Tygerland.net:

Carry a pack of bacon at all times. If someone annoys you simply rub it in their face and watch them freak out.
Start ill-informed superstitions. For example: I heard that, if you wash your genitals in rose-oil after having full-sex with a pig, you won’t catch the flu.

Further Signs of the Aporkalypse (from BoingBoing in 2001! How prescient!)
Last, but not least, The Ham of Darkness, which features a photo of a small blonde child french kissing a pig…
Notes:
[1] If you think I am not taking swine flu or *gasp* Avian Flu or **GASP**ZOMG**GASP**GASP** SARS seriously enough, I would like to trot out that you are much more likely to expire from an automobile accident, heart attack, stroke, or domestic abuse this year than you are of a fairly rare “epidemic” episode that happens once every few years to less that a couple of tens/hundreds/thousand folks world wide. I would really worry about how your local bus driver drives. The Flu is not even on the list of Causes of Death, but TB is. Have you been tested for TB recently?

One Response to “Aporkalypse Now!”

  1. hadashi

    i cannot tell you how much i love this post. or the word “Aporkalypse.” too bad i can’t inflict this on my mother, who called me last night in England to talk to me for an hour about how worried she is about Somali pirates and swine flu. SIGH. SIGH. SIGH. i am totally going to say “Aporkalypse” to her if she brings it up again.