If only I could Twitter from the Plane:

Wed. Nov. 28, 2007
9:30am (GMT) – @ AA counter checking in, as the agent is asking all the usual questions, a disheveled posh-ish woman comes up and starts yelling at the agent about locked v. unlocked baggage, £65, etc. The agent tells her to wait, she keeps yelling, he finishes up with us and two security folk arrive to deal with crazy lady.
9:45am (GMT) – @ security having bags x-rayed, can hear the same bat shit crazy lady yelling at passport control about locked luggage.
10:10am (GMT) – @ Heathrow food court / shopping mall thing. Have successfully avoided the yelling lady. Have a lovely conversation with a London lawyer and her 3 year old daughter who likes my hair.
10:55am (GMT) – @ gate, bat shit insane posh-ish lady now yelling at 3 security people and 2 American Airlines agents about her luggage, a receipt and £65. I wish I had a tranquilizer dart and £65 in cash. I would give the bat shit insane lady the £65 pounds to shut her up and then tranquilizer her. I tell my mom that AA and the Heathrow security should kick her out of the airport.
11:30am (GMT) – Sitting in seat with power point. Praying to all the deities that rule airplanes that BSI Lady will not be in my row.
11:42am (GMT) – Guess who comes tripping down the aisle announced to everyone in a loud voice that she is VERY TIRED and VERY UPSET. She stops at each aisle and and window seat to announce to each passenger. AA crew members are appalled. She sits down 2 rows behind me.
11:43am (GMT) – BSI Lady is now yelling at a stewardess about her luggage and £65 pounds. The nice teenager next to her gets up and asks me if she can move to my row as there is an empty seat. I give the nice teenager the aisle seat.
11:57am (GMT) – The plane starts to taxi and BSI has found a sympathetic man in her row to calm her down.
12:10pm (GMT) – Up in the air. Plane has not blown up. BSI is still ranting and raving about her £65 and lack of receipt. Loudly.
12:45pm (GMT) – Beverage service starts. Typical AA flight back to the US, the Americans get coffee and apple juice, the Brits & Irish get drinks (wine, beer, and gin). Crew smartly refuses to serve alcohol to BSI.
1:32pm (GMT) – Lunch served. Gluten-free meal is another big winner. Green curry chicken with potatoes and green beans. A fresh salad and gluten-free mini-loaf of bread, plus fresh fruit. Dinner of teenager next to me looks and smells bad. Note to world: Order the gluten-free meal, it is much fresher and nicer.
1:41pm (GMT) / 5:41am (PST) – Is wondering why a number of really handsome men that I have seen in the last few weeks have rings on their middle left finger but on no other finger? Fashion or symbol… Anyone know why?
1:43pm (GMT) / 5:43am (PST) – Is happily drinking glass of moderately crappy wine. If you can’t drink at 5:43am when can you? Even if it is sunny outside… All the better to read xml dev docs by.
1:44pm (GMT) / 5:44am (PST) – According to the back of the seat flight map, we are approaching Iceland. Will finish wine before the usual Greenland turbulence. Surprisingly BSI Lady is completely silent. Maybe asleep?
2:18pm (GMT) / 6:18am (PST) – Watching 60 Minutes on the back of the seat screen, a segment on glacier melt and penguins.
2:27pm (GMT) / 6:27am (PST) – back to reading docs. Not as nice as penguins.
2:46pm (GMT) / 6:46am (PST) – Just starting over Greenland’s land mass. Sky outside looks like sunset, even though it is mid-day. According to the back of the seat flight map, we are on the top edge of daylight for the north.
3:46pm (GMT) / 7:46am (PST) – Watching some back of the seat screen show, Mark Harmon is still hot.
4:46pm (GMT) / 8:46am (PST) – Over North America, Baffin Island to be exact. 3006 miles to LA. Time to LA 5 hrs 39 miles. Just watched the cop show with Mark Harmon and the new Hairspray by lots of channel switching.
5:00pm (GMT) / 9:00am (PST) – back to reading docs. hmph.
9:07am (PST) – done ready all of the docs. Now on to the specs. vlargh. Just switched all my clocks to California time.
10:53am (PST) – 3:33 hrs to LA. Somewhere north of Regina, Canada. Need a good walk and a nap.
11:21am (PST) – After a number of hours of silence, BSI Lady is back ranting and raving about being charged £65. Truly extraordinary mental persistence. People like this should be the detectives on cold cases, if only they could see the forest for the tiny tiny tiny tree.
11:25am (PST) – Am now considering taking a change collection in the cabin to see if we can raise £65 to shut her up. I think I will take a nap instead.
11:26am (PST) – Now she is crying. Drugs, anyone? Mentally unstable, without a doubt.
11:29am (PST) – I have had to pay for overweight and/or extra luggage before up to 60 euros, and did not carry on, and on, and on, and yell, and rant, and go nuts for hours and hours. Hello! Weight restrictions! Hello, if you don’t like it, leave stuff at home.
12:52 (PST) – Over Salt Lake City. I have officially officially hit bored. 1:25 hrs to LA, so says the back of the seat screen.