Monthly Archives: August 2003

New Trend? Blog Spam…

MovableType is such a lovely blogging software/platform. When you receive a comment to a post, MT will send you an email to alert you. Imagine my surprise just moments ago to receive an email from my MT system alerting me of this comment posted to my “I Rant and Rave” post of last month.
No longer are money hungry spammers/con artists content to email me, but now they are combining their politics with my blog and spamming all my readers, too. How fascinating. To comment on the post, fine. To ask for money “confidentially”, no.

ATTN:THE MD/CEO
I do recognizes the surprise this urgent but confidential letter will bring to you especially as it came from a stranger, but be rest assured that it came with the best intentions.

This individual, although not a resident of Royal Oak, MI, needs to be listed on Davezilla’s Freak Watcher’s website. Mr. Shetima’s IP address locates him in Jerusalem and not Dubai….
If I have any extra funds to send to political causes, I will not be sending it to the PLO or other disenfranchised Middle Eastern folk, but instead I will be sending it to Jack Lloyd Grisham’s gubernatorial campaign or I will buy the new TSOL cd, “Divided We Stand” on Sept. 23, 2003!

Super Joey to the Rescue!

071103joehanen.jpg

My brother Joe wins the award for SuperHero of the month. Two days ago, he replaced my front brake rotors and pads on the little Honda, in trade for me varnishing his kitchen cabinets. Yeah for Joe!
This is a great relief to me, as the brakes were getting worse and worse, continuing to shudder, shake, and generally not brake very well.
When I picked my car up yesterday, my brother showed me the rotors that Big O Tires had put on back in February, and they were blue with heat searing. Joe told me that the rotors and pads were barely worn, but it was obvious due to greasey mechanic hands or a glazing that Big O had put on the rotors, that they were overheating, not getting the proper friction, and thus the car was shuddering and not braking well.
Joe found good German rotors, I forget their names, and installed them properly. I now have full stopping ability, not a sngle shudder or shake. And when an elderly woman in a Mercedes tried to run me off the road today, I was able to brake on a dime. Before yesterday, I would have had a large accident.
Ladies – My brother is a gem and single. He is a “nice” guy with his shit together – not only is he a vice president at a large LA real estate firm, but he can build a car/dune buggy from the ground up! He is an excellent cook, very bright, laid back, and has a great sense of humor.

Tales from Alex’s Bar, Part I

I have been mulling around the idea of a series of stories that would all be centered around things I have seen and heard at Alex’s Bar and other music related adventures with the names and some details changed to protect the innocent or guilty, whichever the case may be.
I would like to periodically write down in this blog incidents that have occurred as “story starters”. If they end up in a story, then I will let you all know. Otherwise enjoy the the fragments as vignettes. I will change the names of people who I have not specifically asked their permission to use their name. Both LuLu and Alex told me to go right on ahead, but I have changed the name of the main character in the following due to the fact that I have not asked his permission yet. When I told the following incident to Steve, Barbie, and Shawn last Friday night after the “spatula” incident at Throwrag , they all thought the person in question would not care, but would welcome it.
*****
Last Thursday, before I drove up to LA to meet Erika and Thomas at the Culver City Hall for the free Hot Club of Cowtown concert, I dropped by Alex’s to buy my Throwrag tickets. As Lulu was taking my $ and writing all the pertinent info down on the “pre-sale” list, bar regular and veteran punk “Ford” asked for the staple gun and went outside. I went out to call Wanda to ask a few questions about the tickets I was buying for her when Lulu joined me outside. After I got off the phone, Lulu pointed out the flyers for the Sunday Search and Destroy Ride that were stapled up on the wall and told me the backstory on the 20 bar bike ride.
“Ford” then drew our attention to him and just when we thought he was stapling up flyers, he took the staple gun, put it up right on his chest/sternum and shot. Yep, he stapled his t-shirt to his chest. Lulu grossed out and we both went back inside. The Search and Destroy bike ride guy was laughing.
As Lulu and I concluded the pre-sale ticket business, “Ford” came back in, came behind the bar and started rooting around. He asked LuLu if there was a flat screwdriver. There was not, only a philips-head screwdriver. Lulu was turning green, leaned across the bar, averted her eyes from “Ford” and asked me to tell her something to distract her. We started talking about cute boys.
“Ford” walked down the bar, picked up a big, long knife by the sink. He wriggled the knife under the staple, leveraged one hand on the business end of the knife, one hand on the tang and pulled the staple out. He replaced the knife and brought the bloody staple to LuLu to see. Both of us grossed out.
I stayed a bit more, but had to leave by 6pm to get to Culver City by 7pm. As I was leaving, “Ford” was sitting out with LuLu and her boy just outside the door. He said goodbye, very sweetly gave me a compliment and a hug.
“Ford’s” dropping trow on Friday after Throwrag got off stage to show us his “spatula” brands on both butt cheeks is another story for another day…

Dream Interpretation?

Anyone reading this blog into dream interpretation? If so, what does it mean in a dream when your teeth start to break? Not lose a whole tooth at once, but you keep having a tooth shatter into bits which then have to be spit out?
I have had this tooth shattering sequence in two dreams recently. Odd.

How to be Celibate in the era of killer STDs

Tonight is the second to last class of Fiction I at UCLA. I have enjoyed the class immensely and have had fun with the weekly excercises and the final draft short story I turned in last week.
Many of my other stories/writing I have posted here, but I have not with the short story for this class. There are several reasons: length (the story is 5,000 words), protecting the innocent (there are a few real people in the story, I have their permission to use them, but I don’t want to abuse that trust), and I might want to try and submit it to a magazine and *if* it is accepted I don’t know if putting it up on one’s blog counts as previously published. If you would like to read it, email me and I may email you the word doc.
Tonight’s Strangeness/Humor homework assignment was to write a “How to…” in the manner of Lorrie Moore’s story, “How to Become a Writer.” Here is my attempt:

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The Evolution of Personal Livestock!

CNN.com had the following intriguing headline today in the Science and Space section:
‘Lousy’ genes show clothes are 70,000 years old

Adam and Eve may have put on fig leaves while still in the Garden of Eden but a study that looked at the most intimate of pests — body lice — suggests that humans started wearing clothes 70,000 years ago, scientists said on Monday.

The genetic study of the lice strongly suggests they — and clothing — arose soon after modern Homo sapiens began moving out of Africa and into the cooler regions of Europe.

In my opinion, one of the true marks of a highly civilized and technological society is not electronics or cars or space flight, but the wonders of being lice and flea free. Ok free of personal livestock as long you don’t rub heads with an infected five year old or get too drunk and go home with somebody you don’t know at a show and rub other parts with them…. Just say no to substitute teaching and drunk bar patrons!

Spam Update

I have to admit that the Knowspam.net service I have been using on all of my email accounts is working too well. Yes, my email inbox has gone from an avalanche of crapola every day to a very manageable trickle of wanted email, but on occasion I find myself yearning for a bit more mail…
The way Knowspam works is that they send an email to all senders and request that a human validate the email before it gets sent on to me, this stops the email bots and computer spamming. Then I get an email from Knowspam showing me all the non-human emails that are waiting, then I can peruse them to make sure a good email does not get deleted. Sometimes I click on an email to just check to see if it is a legitimate email.
Today I had 20 possible spams awaiting my approval or delete button, I clicked on one from “greeser@…t” to make sure it was not a music related email and the following text lept out at me “Get up to 4 Rock HARD Inches!”.
My first thought… wow, spammers are really reaching, don’t most men start out at about 4 inches and would like to get bigger from there? If the product that the spammer is shilling will only make you up to 4 inches, that defeats the point, right? The language in the email did not imply that it would add up to 4 inches.
Spammers need to work on their wording and advertising a wee bit more…